Yes, No, Good, Bad, Up, Down, High, Low - Why Restaurants Make Me Manic-Depressive

Before I start this post, I want to make a few comments… First, I would like to thank Ribeye www.ragingserver.com for starting the Restaurant Blog Carnival. Well done! Second, I would like to apologize for not being around much the past few days. Normally, I like to update my blog about two to three times per week. However, I have not been able to meet this goal. I am happy to see that readership continues to be high and the emails and comments flow in despite my not being around very much.

Last Saturday, that is, December 1, my restaurant got mobbed. Every table was reserved, and we took more reservations than we have tables (to account for no-shows), which meant we were 3 - 4 tables short. The hostess, on her second day on the job, literally gave up half way through the night. We had to turn away all walk in costumers and some reservations were bumped to the bar.

It was the wrong date for Fearless Leader, the owner and general manager to experiment - She decided instead of the 5 servers (we had one no show) drawing up 38 tables into sections, everyone would “work together” and we would pool tips. Fuck that. By the end of the night $300 in cash was missing (no one knows if you swipe the cash from the tables - after all, there was no way to link it to you - the computer system was open)… There was poor service; No one knew what each table was up to and the lead-bus boy called in sick. This left us with two food runners who didn’t know the table numbers and poor service all around. I have never seen so many 0 - 5 % tips in my life. Ironically, two tables told me if it were not for me, they would walked out. More on this latter.

The night was a complete disaster. We had one bar tender, it was her first day. Because she was so slow and didn’t know where anything is (which is understandable on the first day. She is actually a good bartender), I had to make all of my drinks plus some for other people. Unreal. I am demanding a large cut of the bar tip out. Because of the missing cash and the poor all around tips, all five of us made $$72 after tip out and tip pool. After my cut of the bar, I will be right above $100.

This Saturday was different. We were packed yet again but we had real sections. Two waitress did such a terrible job that I had to take care of their tables for them. One table, an 8-top are some of my best costumers. Although I did not get the tips from their table, the threats to walk out turned into wanting private party information, two good bottles of wine and a huge thank you by the time I was done with them. Another table of my favorite guests had similar complaints and left with an equally positive smile and sense of satisfaction on their face. I was in my groove - up selling food and wine - quick fast service (although I did drop and break a glass of wine - a first for me).

I told “fearless leader,” “You owe me.” And I mean it. If not for me, the place would have fallen apart, about $500 less would have been spent not including people walking out and the computer would not have been fixed (I am the only one who knows how to program the POS system).

Despite this, I was told I didn’t give good service. The reason: I did not help the other servers enough. This turned into a 4 minute lecture from Fearless Leader. I made $305 after tip-out of about 5% of my sales (on $1848 in sales - we had 6 servers working the floor and total sales were $7400, so you do the math - I had only 3 more tables than the lowest yielding server and 1 less than the second highest).

Not only was the only one to arrive early, but I was the only one not to arrive more than 20 minutes late. I saved the day and in return was told the dropping of the ball my everyone else was entirely my fault. Unreal. Fearless Leader itemized every professional fault of the entire waitstaff, including not speaking English, not knowing the menu, inability to sell wine, inability to open wine/champagne bottles, inability to understand guest needs, inability to communicate with the kitchen and inability to to use the POS system. This is my fault because I never showed them, to the tee exactly how to have the INTUITION and skills needed to their job. That is called incompetence not poor training. Some people were born to be doctors. Some people were born to CPAs. These people were not born to be servers. Period. I will not take the blame. At least not until I get my 200% raise.

This week was a great week financially. Before tip-out and tax and with my wage I hit $1,000.00. However, the politics and stress of my job (not the serving part, but the politics of the restaurant and the ups and downs of Fearless Leader) are getting to me emotionally, mentally and physically. I had SIX tables tell me I am the only one allowed to serve them on their next visit and three people tell me I am one of the best servers they have had. I am quick to act on requests and know how to have fun with my guest and make them feel good about their meals. After all, this is a sales job.

I will post, sometime this week, some funny stories from the dumber costumers. The tale of the drunkest table of age 50+ costumers I have ever seen, and other humor filled stories. Probably tomorrow or Tuesday after golf. I have had so little time to myself that I have decided to play some golf - alone - in the silence on Tuesday.

I will leave you with this - a costumer called in wondering if they could bring their own alcohol to the restaurant. I replied that they could not, as it would violate our liquor license. She then asked, “well, can we buy alcohol there?” “Yes of course you can.” Why are some people so dumb? Yes, we will also let you bring a picnic lunch too. Hell, enjoy the entertainment, but please do not buy anything…